The Herbivore Family
A Family Affair: The Beginning of My Journey
My name is Brenda Morris, and I went vegan back when I was 18 years old. My first experience meeting a vegetarian happened when I was 16 and working at a pizza place. One of my co-workers mentioned casually that she didn’t eat meat. Unfortunately, she was a little bit snobbish about it, but I asked her, “You can live without eating animals?” She simply said, “Yes, it’s quite easy.” I went home that day and told my mom that I wanted to stop eating animals. Surprisingly, my sister, who was only 14 at the time, joined me. I never realized how lucky I was to have someone do it with me growing up. My sister and I went vegetarian initially, and then vegan two years later in college.
Health and the Power of a Mission
Because I’ve been vegetarian and vegan for over 30 years, I never initially appreciated the health benefits. When you’re 16 years old, you don’t have all the bad health issues happening anyway. However, now that I am older, I realize I have never been sick in my adult life. I can’t definitively attribute that solely to veganism because perhaps that would have been the case otherwise—I’ll never know—but I always feel good. That is one of the reasons I was happy to share in this article, because I want other people to feel as good as I have. I love sharing the benefits of veganism because not only are you aligning your values with your lifestyle, but in the interim, you also potentially become a healthier and happier person.
Personally, I feel that having a mission in life makes everything easier. For me, veganism has been my mission for my entire life. It gives me a reason to get up in the morning and a reason to do things that I might not otherwise feel like doing. I remember one time, in the middle of planning for a Veg Fest, a school wanted a volunteer to come and talk to parents about going vegan and healthy eating. I didn’t want to go; I wasn’t in the mood and I was burnt out. I went begrudgingly, but I ended up having the time of my life. Everyone was so appreciative because it’s a message you often don’t get from the media, simply because there’s no money to be made in sharing advice on eating whole, healthy foods. My negative attitude flipped when I saw how eager people were to hear that message and to be part of a movement.
The Impact of Our Choices
I think it’s important that people acknowledge that their actions do have an impact on others. One of the things people often feel offended by is when they ask, “Why do you mind if I’m not vegan? If I don’t share your values, I don’t bother you about yours.” But the reality is that their actions actually do have an impact on others. To forget that piece is huge because we are all drinking water that is polluted by animal agriculture. We are all sharing an experience with fellow beings, animals and otherwise. If you choose to eat them, it does affect your fellow man. I think if, as a society, we acknowledged that all life is important and beautiful, it would be good for our neighbors as well.
Evolving Activism: From Ethics to Tofurky
For years, I focused on ethics exclusively, and I feel that I didn’t do the best job because people naturally want to know, “What’s in it for me?” So, one of my favorite hobbies has been giving out Tofurky for the last 20 years. I love when people who never thought they would want to have vegan food try it for the first time, and they look shocked that it is vegan. It is great for them to make the connection. I always go through the spiel that “this is not an apple.” I’m not saying that every vegan food is healthy, but if you’re looking to transition, it’s wonderful to know that any craving you have today can be satisfied with a vegan alternative. Anytime there’s a health fair, we can tie into the aspects of how this vegan sausage doesn’t have any cholesterol or saturated fats. That message is becoming more common now, but when we were doing this 20 years ago, people didn’t know these alternatives existed.
Community Support and Overcoming Challenges
I’ve been part of the Vegetarian Society for 20-plus years and am also the organizer of a meetup group. I think it is vital to have a community of people that support you. I’ve been blessed to have a family that supports me, but I’ve found out through organizing meetups that not everybody has that. I feel like that’s one of the reasons people try going vegan and it doesn’t stick—they have no support at home and nobody who “gets it.” When they come to a meetup, it’s so nice to feel like you’re at home with other people who understand. If you say, “I saw a fly today and I didn’t swat it, I carried it outside,” you’re not going to be laughed at.
I haven’t had many challenges in being vegan, but I am also one of those people that likes challenges. It is easier to navigate now, but even when we didn’t have options, I liked trying to find something. I used to work for a big financial firm and they would take us to steak dinners. They were always surprised when I would show up. They’d say, “Oh, there’s nothing here for you,” and I would say, “No, the chef will find something.” Most of the time they would come up with a pasta dish, but at one steakhouse, they didn’t know what to give me, so they came out with a big plate of broccoli. I love broccoli, so it wasn’t much of a challenge for me.
Family Dynamics and The “Angry Vegan” Lesson
My family has been incredibly supportive. My dad used to tease me; if you ever said you were cold, he would say, “You’re not getting enough meat,” but it was in a loving way. My family has volunteered at the Veg Fest with me for the last 17 or 18 years. My dad, even when he was 70 years old and going through chemo, still stood with me giving out vegan literature. At one event, we were giving out sausages, and he knew I was going to be disappointed if we went home with any leftovers. As the event was ending, he took the plate and walked to every single vendor to make sure that we went home with no sausages. The vendors were grateful because they hadn’t had food all day.
However, my biggest regret is that when I first went vegan, I was a hateful vegan. I was upset that other people didn’t get it, and that negativity came through. It wasn’t until my baby brother said to me, “I will never go vegan because of people like you,” that I woke up. That was a dagger in my heart. He changed me. When I tell him that he said that, he doesn’t even remember saying it because it was so long ago, but I needed to hear it. I wasn’t showing the positivity; I was focusing on the negative—why aren’t you vegan? Why don’t you care about suffering? Because of those words, I changed, and since then I’ve been a happier person. Being an angry vegan doesn’t convert people; it does just the opposite.
Finding Your Path and Resources
I am the most boring eater. When I worked at that big brokerage firm and everyone was afraid of getting laid off, they joked, “If we lose our jobs, we’re going to have to eat like Brenda does.” I love rice and beans. I could live on quinoa and beans—that’s my staple. I will eat it every day to my heart’s content, mixing it up with different vegetables and sauces. I’ve been eating quinoa or rice every day for probably 30-plus years. I’ll go out to eat with my friends to be social and have a veggie burger, but I always migrate back to my simple foods, and that makes me happiest.
For those starting out, find someone who can be a mentor. If there’s no one in your immediate social group, there are coaches nowadays. Google “vegan mentor” or “vegan coaches,” and join your local meetup. Whenever I travel, I look up the vegan meetup in that city. I’ve met the most amazing people all over the country just going out to dinner with them. I once spent six weeks in Louisville, Kentucky, and the meetup group took me to a different vegan restaurant every night to show me what their city had to offer.
Inspiration and Changing Minds
I love reading, and one of the books that I read recently that I absolutely loved was Clean Meat by Paul Shapiro. I thought, “Why do I need to read this? I already know everything in here.” But it was so inspiring. If you’re having a tough day as an activist, read that book. It reminds you that we are on the brink of change. I’m also awful about watching documentaries because I feel like I know the info, but The Game Changers was a great movie to show people how easy it is and how you can actually feel better going vegan.
I also love being part of the Chili Cook-off. It’s a huge event in Richmond where people come to eat chili and drink beer. We used to joke that we were going into “enemy territory” because most people there had likely never tried vegan food. But the more people drank, the more receptive they became! It was one of my happiest moments to see that every single person who took a sample of vegan chili also took the literature. These were people who wouldn’t normally watch Game Changers or read Clean Meat, but they were open to it in that environment. Even my cousin Audra used to tease us—she once asked, “Veggie Fest? What do you do, march around a park with carrots?” and sent me slippers shaped like carrots. Years later, she now coaches vegans and has two vegan babies. She went from teasing us to being one of our biggest cheerleaders.
A Final Thought on Unity
I would never eat another animal. Never, never, never. It’s been 30 years, and there would be no reason for it. I think people automatically assume if you’re vegan, you’re an animal person. While I am 100% an animal person now, for the first 30 or 40 years of my life, I was not. I respected their right to live, but I didn’t want them near me. It wasn’t until I adopted my dog, Ginny, that my life changed.
Today, I feel like it’s so important to remember that we’re all in this together. There is no “us and them.” I was talking to somebody the other day who was complaining about people on unemployment benefits, and I said, “Be careful what you say, because you’ve been one of those people, and I’ve been one of those people.” That divide can happen with vegans and meat-eaters, and I know I’ve been guilty of it. But “us and them” hurts yourself and it hurts others because we are all one. I love Gandhi’s quote that “the greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” I use that often because we need to raise the bar for our whole world. It is important for civilization.
